Stacey's got it going on

Its when I watch a simple series on flix, I see a actors tennis shoes reminds me of his.  Clowns shoes too.. never forget seeing his little feet in a pair of shoes that looked way too big as we walked the trail through the park...reminded me of clown shoes. 
To watching a boy wrap his girls arms around his neck...just like he would mine. He used to tell me he loved my hugs. I'm sure that was a lie too. I hugged him like I would or I guess I think i would for someone I loved- with all that was in me.  Not you typical church hug where you barely touch, but the hug with your entire body and soul as if for each others entire being to be one, heart to heart, blood with blood. Cells with cells. Our bodies melting into one. Thats how I hugged him. I've never hugged another like that. Ever, sadly.  
Characters in the series define a friendship between a male and female as one walk, bunch, and conversation at a time... interesting perception. 
And another two circle eachother for years. They say ita over but its not they say its impossible but its not, he says to her  "isn't it time to embrace the fact we are meant to be togerher".
An on and off again couple who hurt eaxhother so deeply yet connect on a level that is so cosmic that its seen by everyone in the room.  I recall a co worker years ago, telling Capt, "she likes you".  "Love you long time". will be on my headstone.  
This couple in the series wanted commitment and sacrifice to make their love work. Hopeless person I am, seems pretty simple. But not for just any simple man. He said. 
Actor who is an x baseball player reminds me of captains love of the sport too..can't remember the team, its definitely not the cubs.  That was a joke gone wrong. One of those moments I saw someone I didn't like,  capt couldn't take a joke well. From anyone. Makes me wonder what he really did with all the shit I gave him.  Personalized Hats sweatshirt, photo album/story books ..and yeah cubs shit. Hummingbird dishware in honor of our moms.  I couldn't keep any of the shit that reminded me of him or us.  I gave it all to him. 
I do know he kept our one blanket. It hangs above his bunk at the shack. The bunk that I wonder if it smells like me.
"Are we defined by one thing or are we more than what we appear to be?"
An x couple trying to be friends again, they me it seem simple. I think I made it impossible. Lol. Building a friendship beyond the physical. Well hs broke the promises I kept.  Not remotely surprised. I recon the agenda was to keep a supply. 
Stacey, poor stacey...